Fictional Dick

Every time I come in here to make a new post I am shocked by how long it’s been since my last post. Let’s elaborate, shall we…

I do a lot of writing. Natch, I’m a writer.

So although I am writing something every single day, and somedays, an awful lot of something, I go for very long periods without even remembering I have this blog. (Weird since it’s my favorite one.)

I only really think to put anything here when I release something new. (Which I just did… We’ll get to that in a bit)

But as has been explained to me, a blog is only really useful if you update it frequently. And, more or less, regularly.

So, I’m fixin’ to start scheduling these posts to remind me to do them, and to create a habit out of it.

In the mean time, here’s what you missed. (Not your fault. I haven’t been posting.)

I just released The Soul Whisperer in paperback and as an ebook. (Amazon, Kobo, Apple books etc. Wherever fine fiction is sold.[Did that sound snarky? It should have. I can’t find the snark emoji…. Hey! Remember when they used to be called emoticons? No? Yea, I don’t either.])

So, anyway, here’s what the cover looks like.

With luck I should be able to stick it in the side bar as a clickable thing to buy the book.

Now, come on back soon! Because I am slamming out a few more books in the next couple days, and the next post will list them all at once.

Till next time kiddies…

It has come to pass, that yesterday I finally put another book on Kindle.

I have not sent it to all the other outlets yet. I am not sure if I will.

I probably will. I’m just not sure.

The cover looks like this…

I am not telling you this so that you run out and buy it. I am telling you this because it exists. And am trying to keep this blog up to date. And by extension, my many fans.

Just keeping you in the loop.

In fact, I strongly suggest that you do NOT buy it. Because I will from time to time do promotions, involving dropping the prices on the short things (such as this).

And I will be creating anthology collections that include many short stories. And that is another way of getting them.

So I am mostly putting all my short stories out as books, so that when the time comes to collect them, they will already be formatted. And therefore easier to wrangle.

So, keep an eye out, either here or on your favorite shopping place, to see when those things show up.

I will start updating this blog more often. Not only because I am starting to publish more often, but because this is the main way I get to talk to people. (If you’re not on my email list)

Speaking of lists, I just reminded myself that I don’t have an author page on Amazon. (Note to myself; make author page on Amazon)

Well, thanks for reading all the way down to here. You are a lovely human being.

It is not often, anymore that I decide to write a post complaining about something. It is even more rare for me to write one on the heels of another, which looked forward to that very thing. But this is one of those. Have to.

Before I dig in to it, I think I should explain a bit about me that you may not know. Normally I don’t explain myself too much, But in this case it will contextualize the kvetching I’m about to do, and maybe keep me from sound like a total asshole. (Here’s hopin’)

Although I am a writer of fiction, I did not emerge into the world with a quill in my hand looking for a flat surface. I, as most folk, wandered around and explored many different things. Juggling, cock fighting, drinking, and many avenues of possible career paths. I have studied marketing, and graphic design, web design, coding, etc.

What does all that have to do with anything? Just setting the stage. I intend to rant, without footnotes, and I wanted you to at least surmise that I might have the chops to back it up.

And I don’t mean this next statement as a slight against you personally, you are obviously an above average individual to have read this far. Given that, I feel comfortable talking frankly to you. So any time I refer to ‘people’ or ‘they’ or ‘you’ I don’t mean you personally. I mean ‘other people”

(A look of disdain plays across his elderly yet still strangely attractive features. He pulls a long puff of lavender smoke from his long clay pipe and exhales a huge cloud, as he leans in and begins to speak. As his resonant voice fills the chamber, the passing elves stop in their tracks, and listen intently. It is rare to hear one of the elders speak. And more often than not, it is worth the time.)

So I went to Nano’s website. and it’s all mashugana.

Last year I had a semi pleasant experience. I got the word count finished and thought the whole event was enjoyable.

Knowing, now, what to expect, I looked forward to getting back to it this year. I figured it would be more fun, because it was familiar. And since I always work to improve as a writer, what I do this year will be better than what did last year.

Right?

Well… no.

Some genius in marketing or in the ‘change things because we can’ department had the whole fucking site restructured. And I can’t fucking stand it.

At first I thought they had just visually spruced it up. Things were in different places, graphics changed, that sort of thing. I took a while to figure out where things were, now. I figured I would quickly have it up and dancing as before.

…

No.

They didn’t just change the look and feel. They changed the functionality of everything. And not for the better.

Last year, and years prior, it had a feel of legitimacy to it. It truly helped one to feel like one was participating in something significant. This is no longer the case.

Now it feels like it’s a site for retards to come and play like they’re writers. Fuck them.

I will not be participating in NaNo this year.

It is likely that I will never participate in it again. It is also likely that I will never tell any one about it. (That is, as a recommendation) As far as I am concerned there is no NaNoWriMo anymore.

It’s sad. Because to me it was sort of a mountain that was waiting for me to climb it. It took me a few years to get up it. And then once I finally did, and excitedly anticipated doing it again, they tore down the real mountain and put up a plastic toy, kiddy-ride instead.

I am very sad. Not angry. Sad.

Normally I put words of encouragement at the end of my posts. But I am in mourning. Yet another once-nice thing has been destroyed by greed and asshole-ism.

It’s not the first thing to fall. and it won’t be anywhere near the last.

It’s still sad.

PS-I normally don’t credit the source of the image, but in this case I really love it. So here is the attribution, links and all. Image by lisa runnels from Pixabay

Another year has rolled around. Like a big slinky cat. It snuck up on me while I wasn’t looking. Completely forgot that it was stalking me.

Well now here it is.

Fortunately I had been thinking from time to time about different ideas for NanoWriMo this year. So, it didn’t catch me completely off guard. I mean I was intending to write a novel anyway.

So, I picked one that I was chomping at the bit to do, and entered the info into Nano/’s watchamakallit.

Now it’s official. I’m in for this year.

You may be wondering what happened to the lovely novel that I supposedly finished for last year’s Nano.

The answer will be in a future blog post. I don’t want to go off on tangents. Though I have written about what’s up with the Neptune Novel elsewhere. I can’t remember what I said here.

Doesn’t matter. Here’s the important part…

I have prepped Nano for the new novel. And I will post here as it comes along to let you know how it’s going. In a future post I will update you about the space one from last year, and I have a series of short stories coming out soon. I’ll drop a few breadcrumbs here as those unfold.

In the meantime, lots of holidays coming up. Today is Halloween! Happy Halloween!

That’s it for now, kiddies.

This paragraph is recently added to explain this post. This post was to have been published in August. It wasn’t. I forgot it existed. I just found it laying around in my drafts. So, here it is. Hope you like it. Though if you ignore it and just move on to the latest post, that would be ok too.

I never ask a man what his business is, for it never interests me. What I ask him about are his thoughts and dreams.

H. P. Lovecraft

I have been far away for a while. You may wonder why? I have been writing. And learning more about writing.

I have two flash stories floating around now. As well as the novella. And the Neptune novel is almost finished.

I am in the process of writing another flash Sci-Fi story. And juggling three short stories.

So, by the end of the month, you could reasonably expect my putting out two new flash, three shorts, and the damned space novel. [Which has nothing to do with Uranus, by the way. Even though a while back I posted a piece entitled “Uranus Update”. It’s actually set around Neptune. (And other parts of the solar system. But it Starts off at Neptune. No Uranus involved! just sayin’)]

The novel has taken an interesting turn and has expanded far beyond the scope of the story that I started it thinking I would write.
It’s essentially what I had planned, just more vast. Which is cool. But takes longer. So I’m just letting y’all know that I’m not just twiddling my thumbs.

I’m bouncing around a bunch of projects. This is common for me at this time of year. It’s a bad time for most writers. It has something to do with nice whether and vacations and such.

I was hoping that this post would include something truly interesting. But it didn’t seem to work out that way.

Yea, well. You should expect that sometimes.

The good thing is that I usually have lots of interesting things to say after I have done a pointless post like this one.
Thanks for your support.

Well, it has finally happened.

My latest Novella has actually been approved as a print book, by my staff. The Kindle and Kobo versions have been out since September of last year. But the print version took a bit longer.

The story and all is the same. But there are just so many more moving parts to fiddle with, when you’re trying to make something suitable for physical printing.

Well now it’s fucking suitable! (as suitable as it will ever be.)

It was a long and painful journey. But now that it is done. It will be easier to do it again.

AGAIN!? Why the fuck would you do it again!?

For other books, ya quacker.

If you recall, I am supposed to be cranking out novels this year.

One of the tasks in cranking out novels includes getting them into physical book form. (Yes, I know that that isn’t strictly necessary these days. But I would like my books to be ‘Real’. )

You know? So, like, when the system breaks down, and we are all struggling to find food and water and none of our gadgets function, you will still be able to sit comfortably under one of the few remaining trees and read my stories.

Because they don’t need batteries or a working source of anything other than light. (I am assuming that we will not have blotted out the sun. Not much I can do about that.)

So, although this novella was not that important per se, the process in getting this thing print worthy is identical to doing a full novel.

Now that I have learned all that stuff, the rest of these things should go from writing to print MUCH more quickly.

Anyway, of you want a lovely physical copy of the book , I will put a link to order it over in yon sidebar as soon as I have a link to put there. I am writing this immediately after submitting the final draft to the printer.

It will take them a day or so to set up their shit and send me the link.

Then I will provide it to you.

I feel as though I just awakened from a long evil spell.

When I thought to post here I was shocked to see that the last post was like over a month ago. Not good.

After Nano was over I took a breather. I deliberately stopped writing for a little while. Bad idea.

Turns out, that if I am not writing I can wander very far off the trail. So, let me fill you in on what I found, out there. In order to do that I shall need totell you of things that I do that are not writing.

The hobbies relevant to this post are that I sculpt and do digital art in various forms. I make CG cartoons, and paint in photoshop and so on. I also paint traditionally, but that’s not important. The important part is that I sculpt traditionally. By that I mean with physical clay and actual tools. (Like metal pointy things, and so on).

Around the holidays, I ran into a sale on 3d printers. Now, I had never really thought much of them, because I could make all that stuff (the objects that they can print) with my own hands. And they seemed to produce crude results anyway. But these printers were so inexpensive, that I was intrigued.

Plus, a friend of mine had had one for almost a year, so we talked about different things to do with them.

Long story short, I bought one.

It was like a gateway drug. I have been printing almost non-stop since getting the first one and have since acquired a second one. (And a growing collection of filaments)

So, if you’ve been wondering what happened to me (and I’m certain that you’ve been thinking of nothing else) now you know. I was seduced by the heady allure of molten plastic and whirring stepper motors.

But I’m back now. The initial excitement of the new adventure has settled down. I shall now return to spending most of my time writing. And the making of interesting pieces of plastic will be done only in my spare time.

Uranus Update

My deep dark space novel has been waiting patiently for me to finish it.

Now that I am back in the writing saddle, I should have that done in just a couple or three weeks. As I write this it is January27th, so I expect it to be finished and available for purchase on or about the end of February.

I will keep you updated on it.

So, I apologize (not really) for my absence. And don’t be surprised if some of my stories start having 3d printers in them. (snort)

 

I shall muse a bit. Pull up a chair and settle yourself into it. This may go on a while.

I have successfully stuffed enough words into my latest manuscript to “win” NaNoWriMo this year. Yay!

What did I win? I hear you ask. Well, I am sitting here sorting through that very question myself.

I got a nifty certificate that I can use to line my parrot’s cage. (Note to self: purchase a parrot)

I gained access to a page of much swag that I can get. (To roll around in, if I wish to do that sort of thing.)

And I have a whole fifty thousand written words that I now need to figure out what to do with. Let me explain.

I have a completely different view of the writing process than the one that NaNoWriMo promotes. Their stated idea and mindset is that you just need to get a first draft done, willy nilly. And then you have something you can polish.

I don’t write that way. I used to, but no longer. My way is that when I am finished typing my first draft, it is the final draft. I will check for typos and fix egregious errors in syntax or such. But actually rewriting is a full on no-no.

I write clean first drafts. If anyone is interested I can talk about that another time, but that’s not what this post is about.

So I went into the NaNoWriMo challenge this year with the intention of having a FINISHED novel, on November 30th.

Didn’t happen.

So … let me tell you what did …

Feast your eyes upon this here screenshot.

You can click on it to see it bigger, but I don’t see any point to that.

So as you can see, I was running along fairly consistently, albeit a little low, up until day fifteen. Then the holidays started to impact my writing. People were visiting, and things had to be done. Many distractions. I still had plenty of time everyday to write, but I just didn’t. I allowed myself to be distracted. My fault.

The complete flatline was while my step-daughter’s son was here. He’s lots of fun. Ray Bradbury said that when he was writing Fahrenheit 451, he actually went to the local library, and used one of their coin-operated typewriters. Because if he stayed home, he just wanted to spend time with his kids.

I get that.

So, about the 26th, they left and I got back to it. I deliberately tried to pick up the pace. Around the 27th I was questioning whether I should even try. (as you can tell be the two day flatline. )

Although that second day I was writing like a monkey on amphetamines. I just didn’t upload until after midnight so it didn’t show up that day.

The progress was therefore …

I wrote the first twenty-six thousand words in my normal fashion. They are finished. They are well written.

The last twenty-four thousand were, to say the least, hurried. They are not finished, nor well written. They will need a lot of work.

So, what shall I do? and what have I learned?

Second question first.

I have learned that my self discipline sucks ass. I need to work on that. I am trying to develop my writing into a daily come-hell-or-high-water habit. I only re-started my writing seriously a couple months ago. When I say a couple that could be six. I’m like a dog when it comes to tracking time.

I have yet to achieve habit. I still need to make myself sit down to write. But it’s getting better.

What shall I do?

Turns out, not surprisingly to me, that the novel I started for NaNo was not a fifty thousand word novel. Judging by how everything laid itself out, it seems as though it’ll weigh in at about the seventy thousand word mark.

This is my first novel, so I won’t know for sure until the ending shows up. But it’s absolutely more than fifty thousand is my point.

Those rushed, final twenty-four thousand words? Don’t know what will happen to them. Maybe I can salvage some of them. Maybe not.

I’m guessing a little bit of both.

Which brings me to exactly where Nano wanted me in the first place. With an unpublishable manuscript that will need a lot of work.

C’est la vie

That work will not commence immediately. Because while I was slaving away over a hot Mac, feverishly typing my metaphoric ass off, I was getting tons of ideas for other stories.

So, for this next week of cool down, I will be writing anything at all that is not this novel.

Just for a week. That should be enough.

Then I shall return to it, guns blazing, free of the NaNo albatross and tearing into it on my own terms. Nothing between me and my story but this keyboard.

This means that I shall be pushing back my original publication date from the middle of December, to sometime in January. That’s fine. It’ll be a way better book, anyway.

Will I do it again next year? You bet.

Will I actually buy  a  parrot? Probably not. They live too long. And, frankly, they kind of creep me out. But if I ever come into possession of one, I’ve got the paper!

 

 

 

 

When I started the NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) challenge this year I had two thoughts.

he first was that I was angry at not having succeeded with it for the past four years.

The second was, that since I had been writing more than enough words per day to hit the required fifty thousand, in a month, I should succeed this time, without any undue stress.

Both lovely ideas, but ultimately irrelevant.

So, here’s what’s up. And this will be really fucking quick because I am writing like a madman.

I just wanted to get you up to speed.

For some almost mystical reason, (ie- one I can’t figure out) I have not been able to keep a consistent word count for more then a day or two at any time this month.

Add to that the fact that there is a fucking holiday in the middle of all this, and children show up. I can’t ignore the kiddies. And there were a few days (five) in the the middle of this whole thing where my word count progress flatlined.

Yesterday I cranked like a crazyman to get out over ten thousand words in one day.

(No, it’s not a new record for me, but that doesn’t make it a breeze either) And, if I had been consistent it shouldn’t have been necessary.

And now in order to actually get the thing finished I need to do a total of just under fourteen thousand words in a little over thirty-six hours.

That’s all I’ve got to say, since I have to get back to the novel.

Stay tuned!